The 10 second incident

James rang the bell. He had made sure he was right on time: not too late, not too early.

The door did not open. After a few seconds, James stepped backwards and looked up towards the window. It happened sometimes: she was busy and she would take a few seconds before releasing the door lock and letting him in. But it never took so long. He wondered if she might be out. Did she try to contact him to let him know they could not meet today? He suddenly realised that she still had his old mobile number. He should have given her the new one several weeks ago but totally forgot. That was stupid... He suddenly heard the click of the door and smiled. Silly him, she was probably just playing at little waiting games!

When he saw her, he could not find anything to tell her. And yet, earlier, he was looking forward to seeing her. Now, he had to apologise for not being in the right mood. None of them were talking. She broke the silence after a while. She wondered what happened to transform his excitement to see her into an unexplainable struggle to be with her. 'Nothing significant happened', he said ' except perhaps the 10 second incident in front of the door. Nothing, really'. When he explained to her what the 10 second incident was, she asked him if he had panicked. The word was extreme, but in a way, yes, he had panicked. 'So, she said, you think that I put you already through a lot and you are angry at me...' He opened his mouth to protest but what came out was a burst of tears. Thinking back of these 10 seconds, he realised how deeply painful they had been. He very likely would not have even paid attention to them if it was not for her questions. But in 10 seconds, he got suprisingly worried; his brain came up with so many scenarios to explain the absence of response; he panicked at the idea of her not beeing here; he felt guilty for not having provided her with the new mobile number, almost to the point of hating himself for it. Yes, he really went through a lot, too much even. The burst of tears turned into manic laughters. How could he seriously be admiting to her that he went through so much during these 10 seconds when a lot more real suffering was going on in the real world? After a few minutes, he regained his calm. ' Shall we go for a coffee?', she asked quietly.